~What doesn't kill you makes you stronger~

Right??? So for the last couple of months, I've pretty much been using this blog as my journal...and since I'm so bad a keeping one, this is a good way to remember things that have happened in my life. I'm still debating whether or not it's a good idea to post this, but I think that it's easier to write it then it is to say it out loud. On the 26th of January, Randy and I got some pretty exciting and extremely scary news. That was the day I found out I was going to be a mom. As one can imagine, every single emotion that could go through me did. I was overwhelmed, scared to death that I wouldn't be adequate as a mother, but absolutely thrilled that I got to experience the joys, and pains, of motherhood. Randy and I had decided to wait for a while before we actually told a ton of people, so mostly we just told immediate family. Only about a week went by before we told really close friends. Although I had always thought that I would wait to tell pretty much anyone, the excitement of it all made me loose my better judgment. However, there were a lot of people that I wanted to tell but for some reason couldn't, and the only thing that I can say is that the spirit constrained me, knowing what would lie ahead for me. I went in to the doctors on the 17th of March for my second appointment, only to find that my child no longer existed. The bundle of joy that I looked forward to in October wouldn't come. Now I'm not writing this for any other reason then to avoid the questions. Those people who did know that I was pregnant, would probably notice in a few weeks when I wasn't getting any bigger, or simply not making a public announcement...or next month when I post pictures of me scuba diving (which is freakin amazing by the way!! but you seriously can't do that while pregnant) And to keep those who didn't know I was pregnant to keep from asking when I'm going to have a baby. The truth of the matter is, I'm doing suprisingly well considering. I truely believe that the Lord has a plan for his children...and that plan is not always easy. I think the Lord prepared me before, as well as after, to experience this trial, and I can't help but see the tender mercies that he has blessed me with since. I really do have the best husband a girl could ask for. He has been so great through all of this and I'm so lucky to have him in my life. Anyway, like I said in my last post... life is a climb, and I'm going to enjoy it, good or bad.